At least he is finally out of his suffering and pain. Lots of people who have never smoked get lung cancer or have anger and denial issues. Often double the speed of this older version, Lets you view multiple sites in one window, With better security and phishing protection. I am just taking it day by day. But I am not giving up. I said something similar above on another comment but wanted to thank you for this too; it provides a little bit of reassurance as my MIL - who quit smoking the moment this whole nightmare began - is undergoing treatment for Stage 4 Lung Cancer at the moment. But as he suffered a slow, horrible death, he said he regretted smoking. Is it that if you don't then your daughter will? I'm not sure it's in your daughter's best interests to see you in this situation but if you want to keep the status quo until she graduates that may make sense. The other question I wonder is does your husband want Intensive chemo? These are good questions that only you can answer perhaps with the help of a skilled oncological therapist-social worker, psychologist or psychiatrist. Im dealing with similar situation. any one knows stage 4 lung cancer live longer than 10 years; 3 years with stage 4 and still going strong; My 34 year old wife diagnosed with stage 4 non small cell lung cancer Separation usually means living separately. He refused to find work. Stage 4 is part of the number staging system. How can I tell her this is bullshit and have her believe me? “[The diagnosis] was traumatic and I started planning for my death instead of my life, and then I met Dr. Lamon,” says Carole. It is divided into stage 4A and 4B. She left us happily surrounded by her family 3 years ago. She was only 63. He lost 75 pounds in 6 months, died a horrible, painful death that no one should have to suffer. I don't know what or if you are a believer or not but many people have turned in such desperation to him when humans had failed to help (Despite very good intentions and efforts). I am very blessed to be a 4 year NSCLC survivor (Stage 1a) and I was a smoker for 27 years. She was in a rehab center and everyone refused to give her cigarettes, including me. I am sorry for your situation. Clinical trials include people with all stages of cancer. But I cant blame him he was told he would live a year, hes scared.Ill pray for you both, im stage 4 they do double chemo every week yes I still smoke there are a lot of people out there that have never touched a cigarette but I do enjoy them and they calm me down in times of stress the cigs may never had anything to do with it and I feel if I enjoy it I watch my moods because I want people to still want to be around me sometimes I think they think its catching or something I don't know of any doctor to be able to tell how long you have theres only one that can do that and hes not here yet I just try to keep the things that are troubling me to myself because it chases people away I just found this site and am trying it out to see if talking to other people makes it better I hope things get better and you enjoy the time you both have together here my misses asked me to move out lol her sister and father died thru cancer and she don't want to go thru it again I love her and don't want her to be unhappy me I do care about me but ill make it thru have a good day. Related Posts. I had three spots on my spine, rib cage, and pelvis. Stage 4A can mean any of the following: there is cancer in both lungs; the cancer is in the covering of the lung (the … He continues to smoke. I told his brother who lives about 30 minutes away what is going on and he promised he would call him -- this was a week ago, and so far no call. You can't force your husband to stop and I cannot even imagine how it hurts you to watch all this going on, just as I couldn't imagine for my dear brother-in-law watching my sister. Intensive chemo starts in 2 weeks, and maintenance chemo goes on for the rest of his life, which the oncologist said statistically is expected to be a median of 12 months. I am not recommending you do this but the thought of it may make you smile. Key points. my bones and eyes ache from not sleeping and I feel there is a monster of death in my house. If you can try to see if he is interested in seeing someone to talk to as well. this morning found a near empty dominos pizza box in the kitchen. Hoping this community can offer some support. He died in my arms. If so, i vote that this is probably energy better spent just enjoying with with your grandma. It’s best to ask your MD or pharmacist because all situations are different. Upon diagnosis she quit smoking (she was 52 at diagnosis, a smoker all her adult life, died 6 mo after diagnosis ). It is also called advanced lung cancer. Everyone is in denial and "busy" except me. Information on WhatNext does not constitute medical advice and all data is based on input from WhatNext members. Trust me. Last week we were told the cancer has spread to lymph nodes in his chest and to his adrenal glands and is now Stage 4 and terminal. What is it, exactly, that you want support in doing? Tobacco smoking is so addictive that 64 percent of smokers diagnosed with cancer continue to light up even after they learn they have the disease. It is mostly for her benefit that I have not kicked him out on the street. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Although he is a 59 year old man, he acts more like a stoned teenager. My husband has made it clear he does not want to speak to any therapist or social worker and refused antidepressants. Please, Instead, I spent a lot more time with her and got her ice cream "too many" times. My husband has stage 4 lung cancer he still smokes and is miserable most of the time. He said he would give me $500 on Monday, and got very angry and has been sulking. Upon diagnosis she quit smoking (she was 52 at diagnosis, a smoker all her adult life, died 6 mo after diagnosis ). Have questions or issues with this website? Call your county health department too as they might have services. Don't let this experience pull you down too. even though I take prescription sleep meds, woke up at least a dozen times last night. To me he has been a terrible husband, a burden. Try to help her quit - it's not helping her. My husband's attitude has already ruined us financially. You are getting remarkable information, advice from some caring smart people, I only have a family tale to share. You need to get support for yourself, i.e., a support group and/or therapy for yourself and be sure to try and avoid the second hand smoke. The average age at diagnosis is 70, and about 80% of lung cancer deaths are thought to result from smoking. If you continue to smoke, the lung cancer may recur after treatment, it may spread to other parts of the body, or a new cancer may develop. (Learn more about the stages of lung cancer here.) As some of the other folks here have suggested, try through some of the Cancer orgs - ACS or CancerCare to get volunteers to help transport him to appointments. He continues to smoke. Is it worth it? The science is clear: Smoking causes cancer. She was released from hospital on the 19th which just happened to be my birthday so this was seen as a good omen. and drive a car and wouldn't try to get help to learn how to drive with adjustments made to his car. Smoking can also make dealing with side effects from the chemo worse (nausea, etc.) I had a family member who refused to try to stop smoking even after being told he would die in 5 years,which he did. Edit: with all that being said, I think it’s ultimately up to her. Stage 4 Terminal Lung Cancer & Still Smoking Hello all. Divorce is not so simple when you are married to a drug addict like I am. Why are you thinking it is your job to care for him? I did everything she wanted and we really grew closer together in that time. I have had treatments so far. Uninvolved except as you might choose to be involved. The vast majority (80–90%) of cases of lung cancer are due to long-term exposure to tobacco smoke Sadly, it is often found at a late stage when it has already spread to other parts of the body. My wife never had cancer but she had several medical issues linked to her smoking, including poor circulation, COPD, and several mini-strokes. My sister had stage IV non small cell lung cancer. Unfortunately, this technique also inhibits healthy cells of the body. One way to describe NSCLC is by its clinical or pathologic stage. Living with stage 4 cancer. The survival time cited to you is an average and is based on data that is at least 5 years old. I stopped smoking 3 days AFTER my diagnosis using nicotine gum. If she has a reasonable chance of cure, it would still increase her chances of survival if she can quit or decrease smoking. I don't understand how this man has such rule over your life that he is able to forbid you anything. He'd also told me when he first came back to live here that he would contribute to the living expenses. Sometimes there are just no words to explain why these things happen, and what the heck the person is thinking that it happens to. (God loves him even in his condition and personality ) and that there are moments of joy left maybe even years if he would take one thing at a time toward that goal, .I feel for you as I know of a little of a life lived in misery because of abuse....although just verbal. Lung cancer is the 5th most common type of cancer in New Zealand. It is the utter selfishness on his part along with you enabling him to be that way. This is just my personel opinion. I actually just gave a talk on this- it is actually opposite. If she's having radiation therapy, smoking will actually decrease the effectiveness of the treatment; we like blood to be nice and oxygenated and smoking takes out oxygen from the blood, which decreases how treatment works. New York (CNN Business) Rush Limbaugh, the conservative talk show radio host, is battling stage 4 lung cancer and said Monday he's had a setback in his prognosis. He is the poster child for DENIAL. He continued to smoke. It has a profound effect on survival. According to a 2019 review in Translational Lung Cancer Research, the majority of people with lung cancer will attempt to quit after a lung cancer diagnosis, but only 50% of them remain off cigarettes permanently.. I believe very strongly in God, and pray God will take him sooner than later and put me, him, and our 21 year old daughter, who is more than devastated by this, out of our misery. to XXX 13, my husband died 2 months ago, Aug. 8, 2013. almost 6 months to the day he was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. I have almost no money left. last night walked by his room and it reeked of marijuana. There really isn't anything you can do. This screen name is in use, please pick a different screen name. My Dad also has dementia. His whole life had changed , he loved to dance and was very good at it . Also speak with a social worker and see if their are any caregiver support groups in you area. I feel bad that he is in pain and depressed and sulking, but I am going to stand up for myself. Frustrated, Stage 4 - mom still smokes/ success while smoking? With the improvements in treatment he could well live a lot longer. Unfortunately chemotherapy wasn't working and when she was deemed terminal she started smoking again. Smoking during treatment is deadly. I spoke to one of the hospices nurses who said patients who are imminently terminal should do whatever they want. I also had a friend diagnosed with lung cancer that refused to stop smoking. Lung cancer is a type of cancer that begins in the lungs. I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Yes, some cancer patients still smoke. A sacrifice. Common symptoms of lung cancer include: A cough that won't go away. kos56, I am a wreck. CAS 1, this is a very sensible answer. Then he told me that after he sees how bad he feels after the first chemo, he may go back to live in Las Vegas, and told me I need to sell our house and give him half the money. If it's terminal why go through the discomfort? cannot cope with my husband's selfish, self-destructive behavior. Visualize Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer Treatment (Pdq®)—Patient Version regarding Prognosis For Stage 4 Lung Cancer That Has Metastasized Article Related to Prognosis For Stage 4 Lung Cancer That Has Metastasized : Smoking Causes Lung cancer – prognosis for stage 4 lung cancer that has metastasized We are seeing this warning everywhere, even the container of cigarette is … This reddit is for the discussion of cancer, cancer related news, stories of survival, stories of loss and everything else associated with the disease. An analysis of … He has been living off our IRA's for the past 18 months after 2 years of unemployment ran out. But these studies can be especially helpful for people diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, whose existing treatment options are limited. He died almost 5 years later. Stage 4 Lung Cancer Life Expectancy with and without Treatment The overall 5-year survival rate for both stages of small cell lung cancer (limited stage plus extensive stage) is only about 6 percent. Continued Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer Stages. Not to be blunt but your husband could live for years with increasing physical disability and increasing emotional problems. I doubt her NP said anything if the sort. It sounds like he has given up and will life life as he wishes to do so. Divorce lawyers at $500 an hr in CA love people like my husband who whine and complain and stall and stall. My great aunt died from lung cancer and unfortunately caused my great uncle to die from emphysema though he wasn't a smoker. Also there maybe chemical imbalance but if he will not listen to your advice then is there anyone else who can talk to him to let him know he is loved ? Unfortunately chemotherapy wasn't working and when she was deemed terminal she started smoking again. In this stage, the disease has spread, or metastasized, from the lung in which it originated to the other lung, the pericardium (membrane around the heart and lungs), chest and/or other areas of the body. 25 years. Thank you for your thoughtful replies. He has no life insurance, as he refused to buy it when I asked. Hopefully there is a communication issue instead of wrong information being given out. If you really can't bear it, leave. If there's hope then it's worth it. I think I would regret that. Email us. Away. He is going to go through chemo because he believes that it will prolong his life and that smoking has no effect. Had one lobe of his lung removed and went through grueling chemotherapy. He said he would when he first showed up, but so far, nothing. His death was torture, a horror. Quitting smoking can have a dramatic and measurable effect on overall survival, even in patients with stage 4 lung cancer, according to a yet-to-be published Canadian study. You say this man abused you. But you are absolutely right. There is no one else to take care of him. I know it is hard to even try to help someone who does not even appreciate your efforts and refuses to help himself. I have felt fine and still do. To kick the bum out. Are you looking at stage 4 inoperable, incurable, end of life cancer? He is also correct in that stage IV does not have to be a death sentence if he curbs his habit. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. But I also resent having to care for this person who has treated me so badly for 25 years. According to the American Cancer Society, lung cancer is the second most common cancer in both men and women (excluding skin cancer). You say you are separated from him but you neglected to separate the money and neglected to insist on life insurance. It is really helping to hear from all of you. In fact, during his first bout with lung cancer as well as this time, he forbade me from telling anyone, including his 2 brothers. See if there's any chance he can switch to the patch so he can get his nicotine and you won't be exposed further. God bless his soul. He also told me he would give us money, just ask. In most cases, SCLC has already spread by the time it is found, so chemotherapy (chemo) is usually part of treatment.. User Agreement, Regarless of my feelings for him I would not walk away now. Please help us spread the word about WhatNext so more people can find more relevant matches, gain more insight and feel a little less alone. My husband refuses to talk to a therapist. quintanilla / Istockphoto. He smoked right up to the end, even while taking oxygen. The thing is, I have compassion for him as a human being, but for him personally, I have deep anger and resentment for what he has put me and my daughter through. Braf V600E positive therapy. She refused to give up the cigarettes right up until she had a major stroke and couldn't get out of bed. All situations are different different screen name terminal she started smoking again to care for him it causes else damned... Cancer patients blunt but your husband want Intensive chemo about how to fix it all in recent years there. Regularly develop quickly and has achieved a phase when analyzed months on oxygen she continued to.... Buy it when i asked were older people who had spent their lives smoking his lung removed went. Both radiation and chemo at the moment and your comment has brought a little bit comfort... Have a therapist to discern that and why is in use, feel. The machine off and go outside to smoke not to be a 4 year NSCLC (! Curbs his habit you anything stage 4 lung cancer still smoking, even while taking oxygen would appreciate hearing on... Not saying that it is the reality of my feelings for him i would not walk away now go... Then Im sure he can afford marijuana, then Im sure he can afford some health.... Patients continue smoking years after a cancer diagnosis but the data supports higher survival after with! We really grew closer together in that time tried to quit smoking a tale. A plan on how your day will operate us money, just.. A protein that sends signals in cells and helps with cell growth serious her! To write or read chances of survival if she can quit or decrease smoking inoperable incurable! Years old life cancer yourself and not use his disease as a reason to her! In a rehab center and everyone refused to give in to his.. Why are you looking at stage 4 lung cancer than small cell lung cancer ( SCLC is... Knew all the statistics regarding smoking but still refused to buy it when i,... Have not kicked him out on the 19th which just happened to be that way got! Difficult after smoking for so long unfortunately, this is probably energy better spent just enjoying with your. That nicotine causes certain cell lines to become resistant to chemotherapy - specifically with lung cancer or anger... With lung cancer deaths are related to smoking unfortunately, this technique also inhibits cells. Problem will only become yours if you let it out of his actions everything else be damned patients smoking., died a horrible, painful stage 4 lung cancer still smoking that no one should have to suffer and there are actually! Treatment with either surgery or radiation if one quits smoking diagnosis is 70 and! Lung removed and went through grueling chemotherapy non small cell lung cancer deaths are thought to from... Of her overall health and other stressors by using our services or clicking i agree this decision should be in... Might choose to be a huge relief of us could say about it to change her mind nicotine! Patches if your serious about her quitting avenue, a financial one income place? with our HELOC which often. Not walk away now doing with her for doing this and realize i could do and find help for past! To have lung cancer, Wow, what a tough situation to be in and there are people! Who said patients who are imminently terminal should do whatever they want was. He 'd also told me he has given up and will life life as he refused to buy it i. Lot longer or pharmacist because all situations are different it spreading to her lymph.. Depressed trying to understand why a Nurse Practitioners would advocate something so blatantly incorrect this morning found a near dominos. Working and when she was deemed terminal she started smoking again he know his darling is! Our use of cookies chemotherapy - specifically with lung cancer 's working to his.. Very sensible answer found to have lung cancer that refused to give up the cigarettes right to. Why are you thinking it is the utter selfishness on his part along with you enabling to! Of life cancer n't know what you want support in doing is probably depressed trying to cope with on. The only possible downside ( besides withdrawal ) is usually staged as either limited or.... Understand what a tough situation to be in and there are volunteers who help drive a car and n't. Was released from hospital on the 19th which just happened to be in and there nothing! The best, please pick a different avenue, a financial one like i.! You have early-stage lung cancer & still smoking my husband 's selfish stage 4 lung cancer still smoking. To give up the cigarettes right up to the living expenses - it 's helping. Focus on finding the services to help in any case to fix it all Privacy Policy withdrawal is... Some health insurance was not easy believe me ; i have no family close! Want her to reach that milestone place? related to smoking ms Bladwell had always assumed lung.... Cope with his situation  stage 4 inoperable, incurable, end of life cancer too many ''.... Person can do then it 's not helping her that nicotine addiction is harder treat. After years of living with stage 3A lung cancer you down too talk more with us, of! Ask your MD or pharmacist because all situations are different is based data! And pelvis if their are any caregiver support groups in you area the in! Husband want Intensive chemo a lifelong smoker and lost one lung due to cancer patient ’ s both! Will only become yours if you have the best response so far grandmother was recently found to lung. You want ) about resources in your area for care giver support groups you! Not doing enough to get the best response so far, nothing care. Because he believes that it is mostly for her benefit that i have gotten over being angry with for... After 2 years of living with the disease and the lung damage it.... Up at least he is in pain and depressed and sulking, but neglected!, that you are separated from him but you neglected to insist on life insurance of comfort our.. Screen name is in use, please pick a different screen name least 5 years old in! Woman is doing with her survival and ended up giving her panic attacks you... It started in pain and depressed and sulking, but you can do about husband! Approaching this from a different avenue, a social worker ) about resources in stage 4 lung cancer still smoking! Survival if she can quit or decrease smoking illness after smoking for 50.... Money, just ask the past 18 months after 2 years of living with the improvements in he! Stop your husbands behavior, but certainly more so than even a smoker for 27 years technique also healthy! He smoked he never tried to quit because like you he said he regretted smoking wo n't go.. End, even while taking oxygen of seretonin in the family room as i do n't how! Living with stage 3A lung cancer in New Zealand $ % ^ *! Lot more time with her and got her ice cream `` too many '' times quitters survive! Bear it, exactly, that you want free to ask your or... Ca love people like my husband was diagnosed with stage 3A lung cancer which spread to her on. Thing to focus on what i could do and find help for the rest of his suffering and.... Who have never smoked get lung cancer that refused to give in to his demands know how go! Would survive five years his lung removed and went through grueling chemotherapy and unfortunately caused my great aunt from... Tale to share this was seen as a reason to give in to his demands to suffer are required! Doing this and realize i could not change her, she was terminal... From a different avenue, a social worker and refused antidepressants 'm sitting in the family room as i n't... Cough that wo n't go to, and pretty addicted to her lymph nodes would contribute to the expenses... From deprssion which is almost gone quickly and has been living off our 's! N'T know what you want want Intensive chemo been treatment advances his Drs about getting him treated depression. Pros and cons for getting psychological help for the past 18 months after 2 years of with. Be a 4 year NSCLC survivor ( stage 1a ) and i was chain! Survival and ended up giving her panic attacks really helping to hear from all of stage 4 lung cancer still smoking 'll Fri. Are not required to give her cigarettes, including me smoked get lung cancer, per! Could live for years with increasing physical disability and increasing emotional problems be incredibly after. Be incredibly difficult after smoking for 50 years & still smoking my husband who whine and complain and stall stall. Are swimming in the same river ( pun on denial ) as hubby. People with all that being said, i think Peroll hit it on the pros and for... Is no one should have to make him realize the consequences of his and! For getting psychological help for the past 18 months after 2 years of unemployment ran out oldest. After a cancer diagnosis but the rates are higher for some cancers older version, Lets you view sites. To describe NSCLC is by its clinical or pathologic stage not going to up. Common type of lung cancer or have anger and denial issues told my husband 's from... The cancer, even while taking oxygen sites in one window, with better security and phishing.. Quitting can also make dealing with side effects of withdrawal money, just ask she started again...

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